Thursday, December 11, 2014

DISSING THE DEAD MENTALLY ILL

Ran across THIS ridiculous post on 'Topix.com' today:
http://www.topix.com/forum/city/hopkinsville-ky/TG9IJ9QQ0Q5R3ENA7



Had THIS gut-reaction (still fuming):

What a bunch of maroons you 'paranormalists' are.

I personally reserve the term 'paranormal investigator' to my questions of what is going on in the heads of people who believe in ghosts in the first place...in reference to WSH, I'd also apply it to anyone who'd call themselves a human being who had the power to stop what really goes on there, yet has always looked the other way (State Reps, etc.)...I'd also question the humanity of anyone who has ever signed off to have a friend or relative put there.

Let me assure you narcissistic lunatic 'ghost researchers'...
I MYSELF resided on that third floor for many months (before a set of competent, knowledgeable, and respected doctors ended my career as a crazy person by clarifying it my case as Munchausen by proxy abuse), there are no 'ghosties' ANYWHERE other than INSIDE the raggedy, cobweb infested minds of all those interested parties with no lines who sit back on their haunches and speculate about such things.

I'm going to outline for you hedonistic, self-involved, 'eccentrics' the ONLY things that terrified ME--and most ALL other long-term patients I met--during my extended stays there.  I assure you idiots...if you're a 'patient' there, you sleep with one eye open for ANY OTHER REASON--all involving personal protection from other patients and 'staff'...so you'd ALL notice if you ever HONESTLY awoke with some dead 18th-century child holding your hand, or whatever-the-fuck.

YOUR WORST ENEMIES/FEARS AT WESTERN STATE ARE NEVER THE OTHER PATIENTS

I was never as afraid of the worst, most allegedly 'psychotically violent' patient there, as I was the greedy, overpaid, sneakily-cruel orderlies, NURSES, doctors, and other real, live, in-the-flesh creepy-crawlies that manifested themselves seemingly permanently in that place for decades, and so likely still do.

If you're stuck there awhile, you're NEVER as afraid of the worst, most allegedly 'psychotically violent' patient there, as you quickly learn to be of the greedy, overpaid, sneakily-cruel orderlies, NURSES, doctors, and other real, live, in-the-flesh creepy-crawlies that manifested themselves seemingly permanently in that place for decades, and so likely still do.

The miserably-tortured, lost souls that carry on their bleak, hollow existence, stagger, ramble, and at times even drag themselves across the floors and halls of the various wards, and even the common areas. looking into the eyes of any one of them is one of the scariest things you will ever do, as you all realize your sad collective fate as the unwanted and forgotten. the Chi re-used turn out to be not much more then unstable kleptomaniacs, who, at the nearest opportunity, will sneak into your room, sometimes after setting up a distraction, and either rob you blind of the meekest possessions you are allowed, or even plant contraband to get you into deep trouble and put on the locked ward.

Others may present anywhere from a more sociable or friendly person to a bright and energetic, even affable or friendly character, yet turn out to be nothing more then mousey, stoic, self-interested zombies when presented with the opportunity to witness another patient be beaten to death (in what always amounts to nonsensical, self-aggrandized, almost surreally-mean-spirited and sadistic gang-style acts of extended cruel violence perpetrated in any environment, much less a state-run hospital purporting to care for 'such poor lost souls').


YOU'RE ALWAYS WORSE ONCE YOU'VE BEEN INSTITUTIONALIZED

Ahhh, the complete and total, abject, bleak, and despondence that comes from realizing you've lost all faith, hope and trust in humanity...forever.

There's nothing like watching one 'loving' family after another neglect a family member they've institutionalized in holiday after holiday, birthday after birthday...sitting on the floor with massive amounts of Haldol coursing through your system, disabling you from even the most base emotional reaction while you watch one act of violent senior citizen abuse after another, while day follows day and you finally lose of the will to live, and finally all hope for any type of freedom, over what could very well be a clerical error, an interoffice typographical error, or, most commonly in these places, just the pure, wanton apathy that has encompassed our society, all while people tap away on their smartphones and other digital devices in the outside world, bleeding to themselves that they are the most socially advanced civilization since the dawn of time?

[deep, sardonic breath being drawn]

So, see, those two ideals die together, hand-in-hand, at once...again, FOREVER--making the very REAL, SOBERING, MATURE final realization set in that you no longer fear anything, much less death, so you pretty much joke about the supernatural, praeternatural, and many worse things than you'll ever be aware of, for the rest of your life, even after your body leaves the place.  In essence, the question of 'ghosties' in an institution like WSH is HILARIOUS, once you realize that you--yourself--while still LIVING, OUTSIDE THE DAMN PLACE, might very well be still there, in essence, haunting, depressing, and even terrorizing those who put you there, lied about you to keep you there, and never cared where you survived it or not.

Fuck those who work there--they're truly lost, making their retirements--worse, the many staffers there using the job for their 'additional' retirement (to buy those electronics toys...expendable income, yay!) off those hopeless souls caught within.  The worst ones are the ones who can honestly believe their own lie that they're 'doing it because they care' (I really do almost cough up blood at this...seriously).


WHO'S AFRAID OF THE DEAD...WHEN YOU'RE ALREADY DEAD?

Moving on, let's enjoin the notion of those who have really died in this place.

No--seriously...not that spoiled goth kid over there whose folks put him in over the weekend...the same 'goth kid' who's eventually left there long enough to give up all hope for anyone he's ever met...or ever will; the same people who were left there to die, like a bunch of grown, sentient, adult, zombified dumpster babies.

Those 'living dead'.  Get it?

I mean...once you're caught 'inside', you have to come to the realization at some point that you could easily die there, so...why ignore the obvious questions? Ya blind?

So, you begin wondering who these people around you are--not just the patients, but the ridiculously apathetic, greedy, and sadistic and violently cruel staff--especially the doctors.

What about the conscienceless cops (all types) who've dropped the most pathetic people in the world off at WSH, only to keep hearing over and over they ended up dying there?  And--if people really die there all the time, then...just where the hell are they all buried?

Who put them here in the first place?  What uncaring, soulless, judge...what worthless shambles of a family...or--my God--what [self-prescribed, yet out-of-touch, unfeeling] parents?  What the hell kind of parents don't kill themselves once they've put their kid here...or even let some idiot lunatic judge put them there without a real fight (yes, I am talking fisticuffs here--jeez, more people fight over their toddler getting tackled too hard in pee-wee football than when someone institutionalizes someone they supposedly 'love').

It's unforgivable.  Yeah, yeah, Jesus said...but we're human--HE told scribes and pharisees they'd go to hell for comparing HIM to the devil, so...any takers on Christ's AUTOMATIC absolution of those maligned by such indignity, who bore the overwhelming anguish of holding on to the crush of feelings when they were betrayed by a family member? Surely Jesus understands, and that's all we need...frankly, I have no problem issuing such statements as such a thing being unforgivable, since the person saying it is forgiven already, and it's really more an emotional expression decrying the profundity of what it feels like to be betrayed over nothing more than pure selfishness (for my case, just look up Munchausens by Proxy).

As for the other cast of characters in the place...did their families EVER even VISIT; did they fucking care? Did ANYONE on the outside ever even KNOW who died here, during their slow, woefully-extended, bleak disappearance into the void and oblivion?

Faith or no, if you still have an inkling of hope that you could do something to help yourself out, would it even be worth the try, seeing the daily trials and failures that everyone else here goes through, no matter where they came from? If you didn't try, would you be damning yourself--to hell, or even as a human being?

For those who come in with any kind of faith, believe me, you will be questioning it as the weeks drag by, and you realize that--one by one--every friend you had in life has stopped believing in you for what you were, and moved on to their lives without some crazy person in their past. WHEN they do this, you'll encounter the inevitable SCARLET conclusion that your life has now become the joking horror, if not for the least of reasons that you can no longer stomach words coming out of other peoples' mouths without adding them to that joke about lawyers and addicts:

"How do you know a [your human pariah here] is lying?"
"Their LIPS ARE MOVING...BWAAAAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahahahaaaaa...aha.)."
[razz sound]

And so, you realize you've lost faith in humanity.  Isn't that the greater loss, than, say, anyone 'coming back from the [cue spooky ethereal 'ghostie' sound effects]...OTHER SIDE'?

BOO!  Grow [the fuck] up, WAKE [the fuck] up, and quit being such a bundle of just plain stoo-too-toopid, because when you multiply your 'new outlook' on other lives by the sheer number of [what used to be] people who've also somehow been 'released' (by some monkey with less of an IQ than the dumbest nit-wit you ever met there yourself) you'll also then realize how bleak the outside has now become.

Really.

Yayyyyyyyyyyyy clap-clapclapclapclap. Winning!
video


Those with a higher intelligence quickly lose that silly 'faith in humanity' after the first few times your toiletries are defiled by another patient or staff member sneaking into your room...or even one of the great SLATE of insecure, wholly immoral, spineless PHDs roaming the place trying to avoid responsibility, trying to track down the most recent 'barely-legal' hire with long legs, blonde hair, a taste for wealth, and a shining lack of conscience.

Actually, either the 'women' OR 'men' staffers at Western State would make great reality television, because...well, if you think Charles Manson's women were a bunch of Stockholm-laden, sadists...well, then, again.  In the interest of fairness, if you ever thought Hogan's Heros was even remotely funny, and you can also imagine those guys ending up tricking their fellow prisoners--and, in the end, each other--into being gassed by the Nazis...there you also have the men staffers at WSH (or just a taste, to be honest).

I'd put the following verbal exchange in the series, if I wrote it...because it smacks more of hard truth than Alexis Texas ever deserved those smacks on her nasty little whorish rear.

[Looking at a patient] NURSE: "Hey, doc--this one doesn't look so good".
[Looking down NURSE'S blouse] DOCTOR: "Well, my friend does great boob-jobs...wait...pull out the other one...Ohhh, yeahhh...if you have sex with me, maybe I can set you up do have them done...one at a time."
'Cross their hearts'--they HOPE YOU DIE!


THE STAFF THERE DREADS THE AFTERLIFE FROM SHEER GUILT

The first time a 'staffer' begins denying you the simplest act of human kindness-- even a 'legit-owed' candy bar from your own canteen fund--you realize what a helpless CHILD they're going to be allowed--actually, ENABLED--to treat you like...even though most of them are either younger than you, and ALL of them are mental toddlers (drawing their 3rd retirement at age 19, coached by the other greedy, 'lifer' staff-members).

It's almost as if they are attempting to ferberize you...now that you are no longer an individual, much less an adult, it's quite possible, that they'll be enabled to treat you with the ridiculous, silent disdain of an adult with 'something better to do' than help YOU, no matter the time or need.  Rest ASSURED they're getting [fucking] PAID TO...but...who gives a shit after hours?  Somebody sneak a camera in?  HAHA, they'd find it by the time they really begin their 'extra-special', 'double-secret', 'after-hours' treatment they're ALL 'entitled to' after their FIRST HOUR OF WORK THERE.  After all...they're treating people they've been misogynistically been led to believe might not even HAVE SOULS, much less GOOD, STABLE, PEACEFUL, God-Fearing, yada-yada-yada souls (kapish?!).

Hop-town is ALSO 'uber-special' because of the ridiculously-retarded environment of every other resident living around the entire county...they're nuts.  Genuinely, devotedly so...they'll believe IN Edgar Cayce as a fucking PROPHET (don't question the guy who got 10 'prophecies' correct, now, even IF he spit out so fucking MANY such drug-crazed mumblings that the idiot-secretary he duped into marrying him had to sit idly by him 24/7 UNTIL he woke from his stupor and began yet another rant...to the tune of WELL OVER 10 THOUSAND such idiocracies).  Hop-town also spawned one of the most ridiculously-UNBELIEVABLE (to the point every citizen should be made to MEDITATE on the word 'unbelievable' alone for at LEAST 15 minutes every day, by local decree...or to eat) tales of 'alien bullshit' ever pooped out of a meth-heads crazy 'mind-hole', in the "Kelly Hopkinsville 'Encounter'" (yes, I did double-quote that, one being 'fakey', and you should mentally cue up those same spooky 'ghostie' sound effect along with the theme from 'The Twilight Zone', just to get you through reading this bullshit on wiki alone, much less if you're dumb enough to see the History Channel version more than once, by mistake...or just to laugh at Hop-town...again.).

 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kelly%E2%80%93Hopkinsville_encounter

You begin to wonder how long your own humanity will rule out your own baser notions of survival, especially after hospital staff seems to preclude acts of violence as completely acceptable because 'the patient is relearning how to take care of itself'.

I'll CLOSE thus, 'in remembrance' of some of the more morose, vile, champions-of-evil, that worked at WSH when I was wrongly incarcerated there (the actual wrongly incarcerated will never be heard in Kentucky, because people here are so fully stupid they'll stubbornly believe anything ELSE besides what sounds sensible).

I can recall every first name of all staffers from over 20 years ago, when I was there, but only one last name because:

#1--IF a 'patient' got suspicious enough to even 'try' to report a wrong done by orderlies (night staff)...well, you were left there that same night, and REPORTS WERE NOT AT ALL ANONYMOUS, so...you were due to die. So, you were kept out of the loop as far as the names of anyone/everyone entrusted with your 'care'.
#2--IF you yourself started 'acting funny' (as in, asking ANY night staffer their LAST NAME)...you were slated for destruction in minutes, that night's log 'adjusted' accordingly.
#3--you were fucking SEDATED...you were lucky if you could REMEMBER your OWN FIRST NAME, much less SPEAK IT.

Thus...I can only recall one, single last name, but I can surprisingly recall almost EVERY SINGLE OTHER ONE, MORE THAN 20 FRIGGING YEARS LATER.

I know where 'some' of these 'actors' are today...others, well, I'll be forever looking over MY shoulder, as you would be...nothing like living someone else's lie.

These few [real, actual] characters...I guess you could say 'The character of these men', I'll forever question...no, more like 'hold up as prime examples of the worst lack thereof of any human beings I've ever encountered'.

Some words?  Lying, openly deceitful, immoral, sneaky, sly, dastardly (I know, it was hilarious, but sometimes you were almost laughing while being nearly beaten to death!), vile, and 'devoid of human kindness, empathy'--oh, so 'intentionally apathetic'. Destructive, violent, seedy, cheating, scandalous, hedonistic...I said immoral already...

And the BEST doctors there trusted them IMPLICITLY, because they were there for one purpose--to KEEP DOWN THE THREATS...these were among the sneakiest-smartest people I've ever met, too, so...there's that.  These 'men' [ha] were there to keep down those zombified 'threats' even if they killed them...and patients did--and I'm sure, still do--disappear under such circumstances quite often (lifers, here one day, never seen again, 'better place' and all that threatened at 'medicine time').

SO--I've meandered here, but any takers on my message?

Quitcher bitchin about 'ghosties'; that is reprehensible, and those who INSIST UPON doing so  should be forced into WSH for awhile until they learn the ropes of mortality in the presence of real, life-threatening danger to one's person, so they STFU.

I'll stop here...Halloween is over a month ago, and just because people who enjoy fantasies like ghosties and horror, doesn't expressly mean I have to ruin MY my day any further.

Suffice it to say that we should HOPE Western State Hospital is haunted...it would be perhaps the only justice ever meted out to those countless souls who were thoughtlessly shut behind those fortress walls over the last century and more and never 'made it out'.

Saying one 'died' there at all is a misnomer for many reasons...mostly because no one 'lives' once placed there. Those ensnared there die the moment they enter the place, whether their snare be life, the law, or their own selfishness, cruelty, lies, and greed.

As more and more such places are discovered to have long-harbored mass, unmarked graves...

http://www.today.com/id/31127332/ns/today-today_news/t/he-adds-names-lost-graves-mentally-ill/

...one can either assume they SHOULD be haunted, as I've said here--yet over protest to those who barely survived their own living atrocities, themselves.

To someone like myself who knows more, and better--God granted any soul tricked, deceived, lied-about, slandered, and abandoned, and whisked them away to a direct and speedy entrance into the gates of Heaven for their trials and torture here on Earth, and they never looked back.